mental progress

beginnings & balance

being healthy can be hard. 

when i started out on this journey back in april 2015, i thought that i was making healthy choices. 

i was running and counting calories and losing weight.. and i thought that that was it. didn't matter what those calories were made up of, didn't matter how fast i was losing weight, and it didn't matter that was running myself to death. 

i started my health journey on my fitness pal. i tracked... and lowered calories... and tracked... and lowered calories... and on and on until i was eating 1200 calories according to mfp... but in reality, i was probably eating less than 1000 calories most days. definitely not enough food for anyone, especially not someone who was running 4-8 miles a day. 

Sept 2015/ about to go running even though i was over training to the point i injured my knee

Sept 2015/ about to go running even though i was over training to the point i injured my knee

 

 i was working out 7 days a week and if i missed a day i would feel terrible and try to eat even less. my "rest" days usually consisted of strenuous hikes up steep hills for miles... but since i wasn't running i didn't count it as "real" day. 

i was working out to "earn" calories. for way too long in my fitness journey i felt like i had to constantly restrict myself. i felt like i had to burn calories, otherwise i shouldn't really be eating. 

after time and a nice reality check from my partner, i started to recognize the issue and started focusing on balance. taking rest days and eating more and eating better. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

now i workout 5-7 days a week. not because i feel like i have to but because i genuinely enjoy working out. some days are hardcore hiit or heavy lifting and some days are just long walks or slow jogs and some days i don't do ANYTHING. and all of that is totally awesome. 

june 2 2016 - june 3 2017 / more food and less cardio, bigger muscles and a way bigger smile

june 2 2016 - june 3 2017 / more food and less cardio, bigger muscles and a way bigger smile

breakfast on sunday, june 4. bagel breakfast sandwiches with ham, cheese, and eggs. lots of fruit and champagne. all on a rest day! 

breakfast on sunday, june 4. bagel breakfast sandwiches with ham, cheese, and eggs. lots of fruit and champagne. all on a rest day! 

and now i EAT. i worked my way up to eating about 2000 calories a day again. instead of counting calories, i focus on macro-nutrients (macros). this helps me find balance and focus more on eating foods that make me feel good instead of crap that's low calorie. but also now i get to enjoy all the food and drinks that i really like to eat. 

some days, all the great progress i've made goes out the window. i am far from perfect. bad days happen. some days you wake up and feel terrible and start thinking about cutting calories or carbs or adding all the cardio, but now I have the experience and the ability to step back and realize that bodies fluctuate and if i give it a couple days i will more than likely feel good again. '

it's all a process. 

but i am so glad that i have figured out what balance looks like and feels like for me.

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